That sounds reasonable doesn't it? Yes?
Always do your very best before showing anybody anything. It doesn't matter what it is. First drafts should be just that and for you alone. I should have put my letter aside and looked at it again the next day with new eyes. It is amazing how blindness on one day can be 20/20 vision the next.
How many times have I been in the situation when presented with a piece of work, have inwardly groaned and thought, why have they been so sloppy? Or, I can't begin to correct this, it needs rewriting altogether.
The recipient of my letter may well have just binned it.
Well, my lovely friend had redrafted my letter for me and even more mortifying...had picked my up on points of presentation. Presentation! And I'm the one that never stops banging on about presentation. Ah me. I am suitably chastened.
Lesson learnt? I hope so!